The future preconditional
At school it was a dubious privilege to be versed in Latin grammar ad nauseum. As dictated by our Roman ancestors, all actions had to be ascribed a sense of time through their tense. Whether something would happen, had happened or was happening, clearly preoccupied the regimented Roman mind, and whether the tense of a verb was perfect, pluperfect, future perfect, or imperfect was an issue of gravity, as time is surely the master of all men. Entering the wider world after being thoroughly drilled in the disciplines of Roman grammar and British sport, it seemed that one had been well prepared for all of the world’s fateful tenses. However no individual is fully prepared to negotiate the English language’s most esoteric and mysterious tense - the smooth, seductive and serpentine future preconditional…
The future preconditional tense serves to ossify the layers of a Western world still very much in love with Roman power, pomp and ceremony, and the future preconditional secures the privileges of a society still firmly embedded within the traditions of patronage & service. In its essence the future preconditional is simple, sublime & captivating, pertaining to that most binding and fundamental of social tenets – the promise.
Most are familiar with the structure of the future preconditional, and here we present a selection of familiar promises written within this subtle tense. First we have an example of the future preconditional within the context of the ‘career’ - ‘If you come and work hard within our offices as an intern/volunteer* for a couple of years, then we’ll get you into media/journalism/research/music industry/law* {please delete as applicable}’
Note the two vital components of the future preconditional – namely the precondition i.e. two years of unpaid labour (as opposed to slavery), and the future promise or reward of entry into a lucrative profession. Naturally this is not a legally binding promise as it is usually only encountered in the spoken form and is rarely, if ever, produced in a written or legally binding format.
Another example of the future preconditional (the service form) takes the following construction – ‘If you work very long hours for five years as a junior lawyer/officer/researcher/doctor/journalist/scientist/accountant*, then in five years time you will have an office, a large salary and a full staff’.
Notice that this construction is in reality imperfect, as it ultimately fails to define the number of hours, nature of service, intensity of effort, or level of achievement required for the future promise to be fulfilled. Note that the promise itself is also imperfect, as it willfully fails to take into account the fact that only a minority of people who are made such an offer can and will receive any such reward, as inevitably any social or career pyramid will always narrow towards its apex. Therefore more people will be promised than can ever truly receive.
A third common form of the future preconditional occurs over a shorter time span, and involves the exchange of pleasure or service for reward. For example a common construction may be found upon the casting couch of many production studios, ‘the modeling/film/music* industry is very competitive - if you want the role then I need to know whether you are free tonight’. This common form of the future preconditional perhaps needs no detailed explanation.
The future preconditional serves as an invaluable linguistic tool, enabling those in positions of financial power and social privilege to commission social, sexual & professional favours from amongst the vast legions of a willing & frustrated youth, a youth that is desperate to taste of the forbidden fruits widely advertised by the media. So what precisely does the future preconditional cost those who are masters of its form and well versed in its usage? In short, nothing, as the productivity and sexuality of youth constitutes the very wealth which is later offered in return for dutiful service.
Given that only a decimated fraction of today's young adults will ultimately rise through the layers of society to become tomorrow’s patrons, the future preconditional creates an endless fountain of youth from which to adorn the beds and tables of society's elite.
False promises of false dawns appeal to the confused, craving masses of young people, most of whom are conditioned by the mass media to desire the very opportunity to serve their masters as a means to professional and material advancement. If only the vampires of yesteryear had mastered the social psychology and preconditioning of the illuminati, they would never have become extinct…
A wise man once said that only thieves, liars and bankrupts pay in promises, and it is only the desperation of hunger that drives the youth to listen to them…
The future preconditional tense serves to ossify the layers of a Western world still very much in love with Roman power, pomp and ceremony, and the future preconditional secures the privileges of a society still firmly embedded within the traditions of patronage & service. In its essence the future preconditional is simple, sublime & captivating, pertaining to that most binding and fundamental of social tenets – the promise.
Most are familiar with the structure of the future preconditional, and here we present a selection of familiar promises written within this subtle tense. First we have an example of the future preconditional within the context of the ‘career’ - ‘If you come and work hard within our offices as an intern/volunteer* for a couple of years, then we’ll get you into media/journalism/research/music industry/law* {please delete as applicable}’
Note the two vital components of the future preconditional – namely the precondition i.e. two years of unpaid labour (as opposed to slavery), and the future promise or reward of entry into a lucrative profession. Naturally this is not a legally binding promise as it is usually only encountered in the spoken form and is rarely, if ever, produced in a written or legally binding format.
Another example of the future preconditional (the service form) takes the following construction – ‘If you work very long hours for five years as a junior lawyer/officer/researcher/doctor/journalist/scientist/accountant*, then in five years time you will have an office, a large salary and a full staff’.
Notice that this construction is in reality imperfect, as it ultimately fails to define the number of hours, nature of service, intensity of effort, or level of achievement required for the future promise to be fulfilled. Note that the promise itself is also imperfect, as it willfully fails to take into account the fact that only a minority of people who are made such an offer can and will receive any such reward, as inevitably any social or career pyramid will always narrow towards its apex. Therefore more people will be promised than can ever truly receive.
A third common form of the future preconditional occurs over a shorter time span, and involves the exchange of pleasure or service for reward. For example a common construction may be found upon the casting couch of many production studios, ‘the modeling/film/music* industry is very competitive - if you want the role then I need to know whether you are free tonight’. This common form of the future preconditional perhaps needs no detailed explanation.
The future preconditional serves as an invaluable linguistic tool, enabling those in positions of financial power and social privilege to commission social, sexual & professional favours from amongst the vast legions of a willing & frustrated youth, a youth that is desperate to taste of the forbidden fruits widely advertised by the media. So what precisely does the future preconditional cost those who are masters of its form and well versed in its usage? In short, nothing, as the productivity and sexuality of youth constitutes the very wealth which is later offered in return for dutiful service.
Given that only a decimated fraction of today's young adults will ultimately rise through the layers of society to become tomorrow’s patrons, the future preconditional creates an endless fountain of youth from which to adorn the beds and tables of society's elite.
False promises of false dawns appeal to the confused, craving masses of young people, most of whom are conditioned by the mass media to desire the very opportunity to serve their masters as a means to professional and material advancement. If only the vampires of yesteryear had mastered the social psychology and preconditioning of the illuminati, they would never have become extinct…
A wise man once said that only thieves, liars and bankrupts pay in promises, and it is only the desperation of hunger that drives the youth to listen to them…
posted by The Angry Man at 9:45 AM
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