The poppies are in the fields...
Another American war, and yet another assignment of young British men are sent off as a token force to lend moral multi-national support to another doubtful cause. So what’s new? Nothing apparently, as officers from Britain's small professional army are sending Emails complaining that they’re overwhelmed, over-stretched and over there. Their opposition? An historical foe that recently defeated the mighty Red army of the neighbouring Soviet Union at the peak of its powers. Then of course they were the heroic, legendary freedom fighters known as the mujahadeen, a band of rebels which gave the feared Red army a damn good spanking at the end of the Cold War. Now of course they are better known as Muslim extremists, terrorists who would be bombed to smithereens by our bunker busting bombs and cruise missiles, if only they weren't so jolly unsporting and insisted on using the lie of their land to hide from our rocket ships and fighter-bombers.
Well anyhow, the home team's got our boys in a spot of bother, and they’re knocking off our elite forces at the rate of around a dozen a week in Helmand province. A spot of bother with the natives is of course a favourite euphemism over the British dinner table, but there's a longer history to it than just the language...
Long before the Boers gave our battalions a frightful licking in South Africa, there was a portent of warning over messing with the natives of Afghanistan (as though the recent humiliation of the Soviet army were insufficient). There were in fact no fewer than three Anglo-Afghan Wars waged between 1839 and 1919, which were largely disastrous from the British perspective. In the first of these, the Afghans rose up against the British invader in Kabul in 1841 forcing the British garrison to surrender. Upon their retreat the British army of around 16,000 (considerably fewer than the 6,000 now in Helmand) were harried and slaughtered at the Gandamak pass, leaving only one sorry survivor to pass on the warning to the British empire. Did we learn? Did we ever? In a replay of the 1841 massacre, the British again managed to have their Kabul garrison wiped out during the Second Anglo-Afghan War, before eventually retreating in 1881. It is even said that the Afghans used the heads of decapitated British officers to play polo. Shame, they might have learned their lesson if they'd kept their heads.
So here we are again a century later, with British commando officers sending whining reports that their young lads are emotionally distraught, overwhelmed, overrun, under-equipped, and overstretched. Well some things never change, especially the inalienable British delusion that every nook and every cranny of the globe is British business, and the national fantasy that a standing army of 100,000 men represents a significant fighting force for a perennial global superpower (by my arithmetic that's about 500 men for every nation on the planet). Well, we've certainly overstretched ourselves this time, and, surprise, surprise, there are no more troops available, and no other NATO country can either spare or would even dare to send troops into Helmand, except of course neighbouring Islamic nations. Across their neighbouring borders flows an inexhaustible supply of fanatical freedom fighters, armed to the teeth with AK47's and vengeance, until that is we get round to keeping that long overdue appointment with the UN psychiatrist...
Is Britain then going to turn tail and run? Never, by jingo! We'll do it the old fashioned way and fight to the last man (again). So, other than the world's most prolific poppy fields (and the main reason for the last set of wars in the region), what is there for us Brits to fight for in this barren and inhospitable land? The safety of an oil pipeline, national pride, Tony's Blair great legacy, or is it merely to add moral support for another catastrophic American foreign policy failure?
Betting shops are currently taking odds on our exit strategy. Other then the 100-1 odds available for the bet that there isn’t one, you can get odds of 11/2 that we'll be forced out by Christmas, but sadly only 2-1 that the troops will be home by the time Mr.Blair is unceremoniously forced out of office next year...
Well anyhow, the home team's got our boys in a spot of bother, and they’re knocking off our elite forces at the rate of around a dozen a week in Helmand province. A spot of bother with the natives is of course a favourite euphemism over the British dinner table, but there's a longer history to it than just the language...
Long before the Boers gave our battalions a frightful licking in South Africa, there was a portent of warning over messing with the natives of Afghanistan (as though the recent humiliation of the Soviet army were insufficient). There were in fact no fewer than three Anglo-Afghan Wars waged between 1839 and 1919, which were largely disastrous from the British perspective. In the first of these, the Afghans rose up against the British invader in Kabul in 1841 forcing the British garrison to surrender. Upon their retreat the British army of around 16,000 (considerably fewer than the 6,000 now in Helmand) were harried and slaughtered at the Gandamak pass, leaving only one sorry survivor to pass on the warning to the British empire. Did we learn? Did we ever? In a replay of the 1841 massacre, the British again managed to have their Kabul garrison wiped out during the Second Anglo-Afghan War, before eventually retreating in 1881. It is even said that the Afghans used the heads of decapitated British officers to play polo. Shame, they might have learned their lesson if they'd kept their heads.
So here we are again a century later, with British commando officers sending whining reports that their young lads are emotionally distraught, overwhelmed, overrun, under-equipped, and overstretched. Well some things never change, especially the inalienable British delusion that every nook and every cranny of the globe is British business, and the national fantasy that a standing army of 100,000 men represents a significant fighting force for a perennial global superpower (by my arithmetic that's about 500 men for every nation on the planet). Well, we've certainly overstretched ourselves this time, and, surprise, surprise, there are no more troops available, and no other NATO country can either spare or would even dare to send troops into Helmand, except of course neighbouring Islamic nations. Across their neighbouring borders flows an inexhaustible supply of fanatical freedom fighters, armed to the teeth with AK47's and vengeance, until that is we get round to keeping that long overdue appointment with the UN psychiatrist...
Is Britain then going to turn tail and run? Never, by jingo! We'll do it the old fashioned way and fight to the last man (again). So, other than the world's most prolific poppy fields (and the main reason for the last set of wars in the region), what is there for us Brits to fight for in this barren and inhospitable land? The safety of an oil pipeline, national pride, Tony's Blair great legacy, or is it merely to add moral support for another catastrophic American foreign policy failure?
Betting shops are currently taking odds on our exit strategy. Other then the 100-1 odds available for the bet that there isn’t one, you can get odds of 11/2 that we'll be forced out by Christmas, but sadly only 2-1 that the troops will be home by the time Mr.Blair is unceremoniously forced out of office next year...
posted by The Angry Man at 11:58 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home