Naming the Beast – Part I
A brief search on Amazon yields a virtual avalanche of titles relating to the ‘End Times’, supported by a barrage of documentaries, books and films. The End Times, or End of Days, is apparently the sort of party that only heavy metal and devil-worshipping vampires who like loud noises would actually want to go to. The Tribulation (or bad times) follows the Rapture, a global orgasm in which Christ’s true believers are whisked off to heaven in a moment of ecstasy, which is very bad news for Bush as most of his God-fearing crusader army will suddenly be spirited off the battlefield along with half the current Whitehouse administration. As hard as this may be to believe for many, the Rapture is not even given credence by the Bible which does not actually mention it. Apart from these minor considerations, this big party in the sky naturally excludes all Jews, Hindus and Muslims, which does seem a little sectarian. However it is not clear whether it will be the Catholics, Protestants or Evangelicals who get the express ride before the world degenerates into a phase of global epidemics, war and economic chaos (like any given day in the 21st Century).
It would be nice to treat these publications as a humorous side show were it not for the fact that End Time stories are amongst the bestselling books of all time. End Timers claim to be able to chart the precise decade for second coming of Jesus, give or take a generation, and also the birth of his charismatic, but not so altruistic opposite number, the antichrist. The antichrist, or beast, will after a period of world unification, peace and prosperity, suddenly get nasty and unleash a wave of devastation more terrible than any of Mr.Bush’s enforced democratisations of Muslim nations. Gripping stuff, and it seems especially difficult to pin the number onto the beast as virtually every politician seems to promise to follow exactly the same mandate before getting into office.
Having watched [more than] a few documentaries on the subject, I would honestly refuse to dignify such modern interpretations of Scripture by actually reading them (and in doing so making their authors even richer). Other than being reinforced by the fact that more than half the American population believe in them (those who vote Republican, attend Church, and mostly didn’t get a full education – OK so take a poll and sue me if I’m wrong…), the End Times tales have less historical credibility than the Da Vinci Code (which at least was a gripping yarn).
As we all know the Bible was a compilation of contemporary texts assembled into testaments, which I believe means ‘bearing witness’, both before (hence Old) and after (hence New), the Life of Christ (yes I’m a confirmed Christian & a believer too). Most of the literal interpretations of the Bible used to furnish the End Times literature are taken from diverse references throughout the Bible, most notably the Book of Revelations by St. John the Divine, and the Book of Daniel, although relevant passages apparently pop up all over the Good Book to add fuel to the End Times doomsayers (all versions 1 through 37). Whether inspired by God or hallucinogens, whether written by divinely influenced hands or by disturbed minds, the contemporary use of symbolism and cultural references makes the Bible nigh impossible to interpret on a literal basis, let alone after its many and various translations from Aramaic to Hebrew & Greek and then finally to Old and then Modern English (Lost in translation?). Some even claim to have broken a Bible ‘Code’, but as one mathematician has shown, almost any event can be dug up in almost any novel using the same search ‘algorithm’ used to crack the code.
So for all the broken seals and seven-headed beasts, the interpretation of dreams, visions and hallucinations penned at the end of the iron age is hardly the stuff to set your watches by, though that just doesn’t seem to stop over a hundred million Americans from supporting a multi-billion dollar industry that would make the corrupt television evangelists of the 1970s and 1980s green with envy. Other than spawning an entire movie industry genre focusing upon the coming and identity of the ‘beast’, the most profound phenomenon has indeed been aptly proven, that of the self-fulfilling prophesy. Let’s face it, as more than half the population of the United States (yes the polls do say so) believe the End Times ‘interpretations’ of the metaphorical Book of Revelations literally, and as they all vote for the Christian right who are championed by George W. Bush, then a handful of right-wing religious extremists, the self-proclaimed ‘Biblical Scholars of the End Times’, are going to herd a nuclear power populated by lemmings right off the edge of the cliff… In essence it is really no different from claiming to have had a dream in Church that you were going to kill your neighbours, then telling everyone about it, popping over to their house to perpetrate the foul deed, and afterwards claiming that it was a prophesy and that God told you to do it. No wonder the Muslim nations are so anxious to get their hands on nuclear weapons with this bunch of lunatics determined to realise their prophecies of Armageddon in power and on the loose.
One of the favourite activities of today, a sort of 21st century version of a witch hunt, is naming the antichrist (well we all know his number don’t we…) Throughout history many despots, tyrants and mass murderers were honoured with the title ‘antichrist’, which is, from a legal point of view, the ultimate defamation. The first to be honoured was the Emperor Nero, also known as the beast, who just before the Book of Revelations was written, blamed the Great Fire of Rome upon the Christians. This gave him the perfect excuse to exorcise public anxiety with the systematic torture, persecution and murder of Christians in a form of mass public entertainment (hence the term anti-Christ). The fact that Revelations was written soon after his death in AD68, and that his name translated in Hebrew transforms into six hundred and sixty-six (although don’t use this formula in your maths exams or you won’t pass until your paper is marked by an End Timer…), explains a great deal about the origin and inspiration of the figure of the antichrist. Others to have been dishonoured by the title include the Prophet Mohammed, most every Pope in history, Napoleon and Hitler. Nostradamus was another one to get in on the antichrist prophesy racket, although he hedged his bets by naming no fewer three antichrists (well I’m sure that the Devil is fertile too…)
However there is definitely a market for End Times media, and I feel equally free to pitch in with my own poll of polls to determine the likely identity of the modern antichrist. Apparently those who sell a lot of End Times books claim that he is with us here today as was predicted, three generations after the rebirth of the State of Israel in 1948. Well at least that narrows it down... and of course the End Timers have provided us with many intriguing clues as to his identity. So it’s time to weigh up the clues and to lay down the odds for Hollywood’s number one bad guy. Tune into part II to join in the reckoning of the name of the beast (it’s a star-studded cast…)
It would be nice to treat these publications as a humorous side show were it not for the fact that End Time stories are amongst the bestselling books of all time. End Timers claim to be able to chart the precise decade for second coming of Jesus, give or take a generation, and also the birth of his charismatic, but not so altruistic opposite number, the antichrist. The antichrist, or beast, will after a period of world unification, peace and prosperity, suddenly get nasty and unleash a wave of devastation more terrible than any of Mr.Bush’s enforced democratisations of Muslim nations. Gripping stuff, and it seems especially difficult to pin the number onto the beast as virtually every politician seems to promise to follow exactly the same mandate before getting into office.
Having watched [more than] a few documentaries on the subject, I would honestly refuse to dignify such modern interpretations of Scripture by actually reading them (and in doing so making their authors even richer). Other than being reinforced by the fact that more than half the American population believe in them (those who vote Republican, attend Church, and mostly didn’t get a full education – OK so take a poll and sue me if I’m wrong…), the End Times tales have less historical credibility than the Da Vinci Code (which at least was a gripping yarn).
As we all know the Bible was a compilation of contemporary texts assembled into testaments, which I believe means ‘bearing witness’, both before (hence Old) and after (hence New), the Life of Christ (yes I’m a confirmed Christian & a believer too). Most of the literal interpretations of the Bible used to furnish the End Times literature are taken from diverse references throughout the Bible, most notably the Book of Revelations by St. John the Divine, and the Book of Daniel, although relevant passages apparently pop up all over the Good Book to add fuel to the End Times doomsayers (all versions 1 through 37). Whether inspired by God or hallucinogens, whether written by divinely influenced hands or by disturbed minds, the contemporary use of symbolism and cultural references makes the Bible nigh impossible to interpret on a literal basis, let alone after its many and various translations from Aramaic to Hebrew & Greek and then finally to Old and then Modern English (Lost in translation?). Some even claim to have broken a Bible ‘Code’, but as one mathematician has shown, almost any event can be dug up in almost any novel using the same search ‘algorithm’ used to crack the code.
So for all the broken seals and seven-headed beasts, the interpretation of dreams, visions and hallucinations penned at the end of the iron age is hardly the stuff to set your watches by, though that just doesn’t seem to stop over a hundred million Americans from supporting a multi-billion dollar industry that would make the corrupt television evangelists of the 1970s and 1980s green with envy. Other than spawning an entire movie industry genre focusing upon the coming and identity of the ‘beast’, the most profound phenomenon has indeed been aptly proven, that of the self-fulfilling prophesy. Let’s face it, as more than half the population of the United States (yes the polls do say so) believe the End Times ‘interpretations’ of the metaphorical Book of Revelations literally, and as they all vote for the Christian right who are championed by George W. Bush, then a handful of right-wing religious extremists, the self-proclaimed ‘Biblical Scholars of the End Times’, are going to herd a nuclear power populated by lemmings right off the edge of the cliff… In essence it is really no different from claiming to have had a dream in Church that you were going to kill your neighbours, then telling everyone about it, popping over to their house to perpetrate the foul deed, and afterwards claiming that it was a prophesy and that God told you to do it. No wonder the Muslim nations are so anxious to get their hands on nuclear weapons with this bunch of lunatics determined to realise their prophecies of Armageddon in power and on the loose.
One of the favourite activities of today, a sort of 21st century version of a witch hunt, is naming the antichrist (well we all know his number don’t we…) Throughout history many despots, tyrants and mass murderers were honoured with the title ‘antichrist’, which is, from a legal point of view, the ultimate defamation. The first to be honoured was the Emperor Nero, also known as the beast, who just before the Book of Revelations was written, blamed the Great Fire of Rome upon the Christians. This gave him the perfect excuse to exorcise public anxiety with the systematic torture, persecution and murder of Christians in a form of mass public entertainment (hence the term anti-Christ). The fact that Revelations was written soon after his death in AD68, and that his name translated in Hebrew transforms into six hundred and sixty-six (although don’t use this formula in your maths exams or you won’t pass until your paper is marked by an End Timer…), explains a great deal about the origin and inspiration of the figure of the antichrist. Others to have been dishonoured by the title include the Prophet Mohammed, most every Pope in history, Napoleon and Hitler. Nostradamus was another one to get in on the antichrist prophesy racket, although he hedged his bets by naming no fewer three antichrists (well I’m sure that the Devil is fertile too…)
However there is definitely a market for End Times media, and I feel equally free to pitch in with my own poll of polls to determine the likely identity of the modern antichrist. Apparently those who sell a lot of End Times books claim that he is with us here today as was predicted, three generations after the rebirth of the State of Israel in 1948. Well at least that narrows it down... and of course the End Timers have provided us with many intriguing clues as to his identity. So it’s time to weigh up the clues and to lay down the odds for Hollywood’s number one bad guy. Tune into part II to join in the reckoning of the name of the beast (it’s a star-studded cast…)
posted by The Angry Man at 5:26 AM
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